Kim Jong-Un’s Sister Comes Out of Hiding to Blow Kimchi Scented Lies From Her Mouth…”We Wish No One Harm”

The wicked witch of the north has come out to play. Kim Jong-Un’s notorious sister is once again threatening to unleash her flying monkeys. Kim Yo Jong is saying North Korea will karate chop every existing political tie with their southern neighbor if they don’t succumb to her demands. Since she wouldn’t have a great deal if any chopping to do in the first place, as is her custom, she’s just blowing her hot kimchi-scented breath at anyone who shows the slightest interest.

Kim Yo Jong got her granny-panties in a wad over South Korea’s nanny-nanny-boo-boo response to her big brother firing off a few deadly missiles. But what really frosted her rice cake was when South Korean President Moon Jae-in announced his country’s newfound capability of firing missiles from submarines. Saying how it would undoubtedly serve as a “sure deterrence” against the hermit nation’s bullying tactics melted her face.

The wee little “dictatoress” said in a statement to North Korea’s state-run media that if South Korea continues to put on such blatant displays of weaponry it will cause “complete destruction” of all bilateral agreements and ties. In what has yet to be interpreted, Kim described Moon Jae-in’s retaliatory display of power as slanderous. Not to worry. We don’t know, either.

She made the audacious statement that North Korea’s focus on increasing its wartime capabilities is merely for self-defense. They have no ill-intent. Her deranged logic was that since they were only doing this to protect themselves from aggressors, why does South Korea need to be doing the same thing?

Kim accused South Korea of hypocrisy by continually developing new and technologically superior weaponry while at the same time insisting that the North can’t do the same. She said there is no reason for the two nations to even consider discussing how to ease tensions if this continues.

“If the president joins in the slander and detraction (against us), this will be followed by [sic] counter actions, and the North-South relations will be pushed toward a complete destruction,” she threatened. “We do not want that.” Of course, she doesn’t.

Moon’s government has been seeking peace between the nations much more so than the other way around. Because of this, many experts have criticized the South for not taking a stronger stance against their unruly neighbors. They’ve been too soft, even at times when they were fully justified to blow the North and everything in it to Hell’s kingdom. It’s believed that the South may have responded stronger this go around to avoid further criticism.

Technically, the two nations are still at war. Neither side surrendered when the fighting that took place between 1950 and 1953 came to an end. The battles took place between North Korean/Chinese troops and South Korean/U.S.-led U.N. troops. It ended with both sides agreeing to disagree but neither side has ever waved a white flag. And from the looks of things, it’s doubtful they ever will.

Japan’s Prime Minister Yoshihide Suga, in whose direction the North Korean missiles were aimed, said the North’s actions “threaten the peace and safety of Japan and the region and are absolutely outrageous.”

The U.S. Indo-Pacific Command said that although the U.S. is in no danger whatsoever at the present time, Kim Jong Un’s fun with rockets only “highlights the destabilizing impact of (North Korea’s) illicit weapons program.” If they aren’t stopped, they will, in fact, advance and not for reasons of their own protection.

With the North going through the worst harvest season in decades and having to ration food to the people worthy of having it, this entire problem might fix itself. People are literally dying from starvation and malnutrition and food thieves have been ordered to be shot and killed without question.

Some might call it Karma. It’s real, you know. Watch and see. It shouldn’t take much longer before all that remains of the wicked witch is a puddle of grease, grime, and ugly shoes.